have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
