Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
