If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
