I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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