no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
