shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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