Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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