The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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