Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These tits shall not be calmed
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