Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
