she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
