why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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