i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
