And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
