This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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