butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
