is your mom at the bar?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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