My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
