R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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