as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize