If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
