what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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