dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
