yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
