Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
