When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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