Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
