You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
