I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
