She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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