Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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