My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
