i don't like sucking hair
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
