I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
