remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
