So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
