I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
