someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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