You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
