but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
