I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
