oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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