his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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