And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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