In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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