My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
