Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My bed smells like the plague
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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