I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
