if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
