it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize