Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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