weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
