i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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