what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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