"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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