Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did i walk over a car last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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