I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
