Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
