im about as happy as oj after his trial
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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